It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
