Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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