It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
