I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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