I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
