Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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