My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
