Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
