Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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