i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize