I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
