Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
