Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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