I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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