the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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