moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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