It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
bring money and cleavage
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
