If i come over, it means nothing
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
