I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
