I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize