I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
