Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
