he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
