he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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