it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
