It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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