Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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