His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
