he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
PANTIES FOUND
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
