I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
