This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
