I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
