mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize