Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
