Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
