I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
