We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it glows. i had to have it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
