Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
