She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
