Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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