What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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