Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My room smells like vodka and shame
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
