i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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