lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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