i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
