It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The Olympian is in my bed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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