this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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