love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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