No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
and you fell through a lawn chair
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
