what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
that's an acceptable place to lick
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
